


"Paper Towel Man"

by stardust_20



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, Dating, F/M, Flirty, Fun, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10055168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_20/pseuds/stardust_20
Summary: This little story is set after 4.14 - referencing back to the conversation Coulson and May had in the van while leaving the Russian mine in their long-ago adventures. "Maybe I'm tired of dating civilians."  "Maybe we can talk about that over a drink."Enjoy!





	

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

May’s eyes darted around the pub, alternately checking out the decor and the other patrons, of which there were exactly five. Eight pm on a Monday night was clearly not ‘busy’ time but it was when they were both available. Mission accomplished; 0-8-4 delivered back to HQ and debrief by the Director complete. Now they were on their own time for thirty-six hours.

Coulson was uncharacteristically quiet. That figured. He never shut up when they were working and had recently taken to flirting with her, but now that she’d agreed to go out for a drink with him the cat had apparently gotten his tongue.

Fabulous.

Well, she could wait him out. Patience was her thing, not his. He’d talk eventually. He couldn’t help himself. With that thought, she looked over at him and their eyes locked.

“So … uh … “ he stammered. She could almost see the gears in his mind struggling to turn.

“This is going to be a memorable first date,” she said dryly. “No wonder you never make it past one.”

He bristled as a flush began to creep up his neck. “Hey, that’s not nice.”

“You know me well enough to know I’m anything but nice yet you asked me out anyway.”

“I didn’t really ask, per se … it was more - “

“ - of a subtle hint? You’ve all the subtlety of an anvil, Phil.”

He took a long draught of beer. “You’re unkind.”

“Guilty as charged, yet here we are, on a pre-date date.” She followed his lead, chugging her scotch and wincing.

“So what happened to paper towel man #14? You can’t possibly have had time to end it with him yet.” One eyebrow rose questioningly.

“Actually I did. Called while we were waiting to see the Director.”

He stared her down. “I was with you. You never called anyone.”

“When I went to the washroom. Borrowed Smith’s phone.”

“You used an _agency_ phone to break up with your boyfriend? That takes balls.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” She shrugged, feeling an unaccustomed warmth in her cheeks. “No point in dragging it out.”

“None,” he agreed, almost hiding his smile. She met his eyes and the near-grin was contagious. Neither said what was running through their minds; she’d dumped the civilian ASAP to take him up on his offer. “I hope he took it well,” he added.

She shrugged again. “We only went out twice. No real commitment. And it wasn’t like we had anything in common. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway.”

“Good to know you can make that judgement call so quickly.”

She gave him _The Look._ He was beginning to feel like it was their signature move. “He’s a shrink, for God’s sake. And you know how much I loathe talking.”

His eyebrow rose. “Yet here you are, monopolizing the conversation.”

“Because you’re not, for a change.”

Coulson sat back and sipped his drink thoughtfully. “You know this feels more like we’re on a mission than a date.”

“It does.” May leaned forward, arms on the table. “So what’s the goal of this particular mission?”

Coulson, in the midst of a sip, choked, coughed, and sputtered as his face grew red.

She let out a snort and sat back. “Well that speaks volumes. Men. They’re all the same.”

“That’s not fair.” His face grew serious. “The endgame for most people seeking relationships is emotional _and_ physical intimacy. The whole deal.”

“Now you sound like Andrew.”

“That’s the shrink?” She nodded as he continued. “Clearly he’s smarter than you’re giving him credit for. You have to realize that physically you’re a very attractive woman, Melinda. You can’t blame men for noticing that.” He bit his lip. “I’d like to think I know you a little better than the random civilians you seem to hook up with, given we work together and have had to spend a lot of hours in each other’s company.” His gaze dropped as he toyed with his glass. When next he spoke, his voice was low. “I like you, Melinda. You’re fun. I enjoy working with you.” His eyes lifted to meet hers. “The goal of the mission - for me at least - isn’t to go on a date or two and then be tossed aside as you move on to the next in line.”

Her face softened as he spoke. “Phil, I’m here with you because I want to be with you. I asked to be assigned to this mission because I wanted to be working with you.” She reached out a hand slowly and touched his fingers with hers, a feather-light contact. “You’re not a paper towel kind of guy.”

“Good to know.” 

They stared at one another, unspeaking, for several minutes, then May picked up her glass and drained it. “I think we’re done here. Let’s go.” She stood, turned, and walked away without so much as a backward glance.

Coulson, nonplussed, and more than a little curious, threw some money on the table to cover their drinks and followed her out. “May - “ he began, but broke off suddenly as a hand grabbed his tie and pulled him sideways.

_I should never let my guard down,_ was his first thought. His second, as he felt himself pulled roughly against her, was that he really hoped he’d get a second chance to take Melinda’s bra off. This time for real. She’d sandwiched herself between him and the wall, pulling him close to her so hard he had to put hands against the wall to stop from squishing her. 

“This first date is getting infinitely more memorable,” he murmured, exquisitely aware of every inch of her body pressed against his. 

“Just how memorable do you want it to be?” Her voice was husky, eyes clouded, lips mere inches away from his.

“Perhaps you should answer that as you seem to be the one pulling the strings here.”

May shrugged and smiled, letting go of his tie and putting her hands up against the wall behind her in mock surrender. His eyes never left her face, darting between her eyes and mouth, but his hands found hers unerringly and laced the their fingers together.

“Now who’s got the upper hand?” she whispered.

“You,” he said firmly. “Maybe you managed to convince all those civilians you’re harmless but I know full-well you could kick my ass any time you want.”

She moved closer, their lips nearly touching. “Seems like that turns you on,” she challenged.

His lips brushed hers briefly then pulled back, not quite completing the kiss. “Surprisingly, yeah.”

She smiled widely. “Good.”

His restraint broke. He took her lips fiercely, fingers squeezing hers as he pressed closer against her, feeling her stiffen against the wall. She kissed back in the same way, passion flowing through her and igniting them both as they explored each other in ways they’d only dreamt of before.

The sound of a car starting right beside interrupted them, leaving them breathless, resting forehead to forehead.

“Why don’t we head to my place,” May murmured, “and see if you can better your time in getting my clothes off.”

He smirked. “I’m pretty sure I can.”

~ fin ~


End file.
